On Overcoming The Judgment Of Others

Earlier today, I was browsing Instagram when I stumbled upon Camille Co's video teaser on overcoming her fears and insecurities. I rarely visit the blogs of local bloggers nowadays, but the teaser was so moving and relatable that I went ahead and looked for the full clip on YouTube. You can watch the full video here.

Every word uttered on the video resonates with me, both as a person and as a blogger. If you know me well enough in person, then you would know that I'm very open and honest about my thoughts and feelings. Online, on the other hand, is very different. For many years, I have tried my best keep my life private because I was afraid of being judged online and I thought I'll be safer if I refuse myself to open up to my readers. I was afraid of being vulnerable. But I was wrong. No matter how private I want myself to be, how carefully curated my social media posts are, someone out there will always have something nasty to say and their words are enough to engulf myself in self-doubt. 

"Am I not good enough?"

Thankfully, I'm fortunate enough to be in the company of positive and encouraging people. It was through them that I learned that the words of internet trolls and haters do not define who I am. Internet trolls will say whatever they want in order to hurt me and bring me down, but at the end of the day, their words are a mere reflection of their character and insecurities. More importantly, constructive criticism is crucial to self-improvement, but the words from spiteful trolls and vindictive spirits will never ever help me grow, become happier, or be better. 

I know I am not perfect. I make mistakes and wrong decisions. I have my own set of flaws and insecurities. Like you, I will always be a work in progress. And I will not let the judgment of others and my own set of fears stop me from doing the things I love and enjoy.

You only live once. Make the most out of it. 

6 Things I Wish I Knew While Growing Up

There are a lot of things I wish I knew when I was a younger, but I can’t tell my younger self that so I’m going to write a blog post about it, hoping that you, my readers, will get something from it.

1. Don’t rush into love

I was so naive when it came to love that I thought the first guy I’m going to fall in love with was going to be THE one. He wasn’t. And after a series of toxic and one-sided relationships, I learned that there’s more to life than having a boyfriend or girlfriend and if I could return back time, I would love to spend most of my teenage years living life to the fullest than nursing a broken heart.

Don’t worry, the right person and love will happen at the right time.

2. What others think of you is none of your business

Growing up on the Internet, I was prone to criticism. People would say nasty things and the insults would range from being not pretty enough to having no originality. And even if none of it were true, as a teenager, I still wanted to belong. So I tried my best to meet other people’s expectations, but in the end, they still have something bad to say about me.

Eventually, I got tired of trying. I had to learn the hard way that I can’t control and change what people think about me. So I might as well focus on myself and if I knew this sooner, my life could’ve been happier.

3. Choosing my battles wisely

Haters and naysayers don’t choose when to attack, they just do.

Looking back, I wish I knew when to ignore and when to respond to defend myself (or people in my life that they are insulting). In relation to #2, I wish I knew beforehand that not all battles are worth the fight and effort.

4. Get fit.

I was never a healthy eater to begin with, but I was skinny as a teenager. I could munch on everything — chocolates, ice cream, cheeseburger — without facing any consequences. But nobody told me that our body’s metabolism gets slower as we get older and all of that late-night runs at McDonald will affect my body. Those accumulated flabs in our body are much harder to get rid of. :( Now I find myself wishing that I didn’t take all those P.E. classes for granted.

5. Learning how to invest and other things that could help me become a millionaire by 30.

Because who doesn’t want to be a millionaire and not feel the financial struggle of not being able to afford nice things and travels?

Kidding aside, I really do wish I listened to my elders regarding financial matters. I also wish schools included topics such as “How to Invest” or “File my Taxes” in their curriculum because as a freelancer, I often find myself struggling to determine the next step on filing taxes. If these topics were only taught in school ten years ago, then I wouldn’t feel so completely lost and broke today.

6. Figure what you like and start exploring towards that direction 

It’s okay if you want to change paths later. If there’s something I really wish I could’ve done back in high school is that I should've picked a course that I really wanted to pursue. Don’t get me wrong, I had fun in my chosen course, but if I were being true to myself, I could’ve picked something else.

This quote from Jim Carrey’s graduation speech is one of my favorites:

"You can fail at what you don't want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.”